Baghead

Dialogue (104)

• Oh… another follower?
• I suppose you’re wantin’ to become a man of the cloth?
• Well, drop your offerin’ in the pile.
• Though some say nothin’ is the best gift of all.
• Now take a sit, mate. Relax.
• And leave me alone.
• That’s the… uh, path to enlight-ency.
• Ah... imagine this.
• Nowhere to go… no one to be…
• Just let life pass on by.
• Go ahead. Try it.
• Eh, over there.
• Anywhere but here.
• Did you not hear me?
• Go sit and be quiet.
• Now what?
• Oh, you wanna bag–do ya?
• You wanna be like me?
• You got a lot to learn, mate.
• You see… there’s an art to doin’ nothin’.
• Most don’t get it.
• You think you’re any different?
• That’s what they all say.
• But I’ll give you a chance.
• A simple test.
• There’s something I want… something special.
• It ain’t hard to find.
• But its… rarely enjoyed.
• Bring it to me.
• Quite right.
• See that was a trick question’.
• And you nailed it.
• So, here’s the real test.
• There’s something I want… something special.
• Think you can fetch it for me?
• It ain’t hard to find.
• But it is rare.
• Bit of a riddle – ain’t it?
• Go on then.
• Take a look around.
• See what strikes you
• And remember it’s gotta be special.
• Not something you can find just anywhere.
• Hm… smells strong
• Is this what you think I want?
• You just don’t get it – do you?
• You really think I want this?
• And after all that…
• This is what you bring me?
• You're back and you have… nothing?
• So, that’s it? You're bringing me nothing?
• You sure?
• This is your final chance?
• Well, better keep lookin’ then.
• Just as I thought. Nobody knows nothin’ these days.
• You really don’t get it do ya?
• Well, don’t worry.
• You’ll fit in with the others.
• Huh…
• Finally… someone who understands nothin’.
• You’re smarter than ya look.
• Maybe you can… uh, help me?
• You see I’m… cool now.
• Wherever I go… these assholes follow.
• They won’t leave me alone.
• If only there was another Baghead… or somethin’.
• But I’m Baghead? Ya know?
• It’s a doozy.
• I was just takin’ a piss with this whole… thing.
• Just some fun before we eat dirt.
• But I just kept on livin’.
• And they kept comin’.
• At first… it was a good time.
• But you can only eat so many rats.
• Even boozin’ got old.
• I guess I lost my taste for it.
• … for life.
• It wasn’t always like this.
• I had a friend once.
• A real one. Nice and quiet.
• I thought we were gonna be best friends forever.
• But… he took off.
• You remind me of him actually.
• Hm… you know what?
• You should replace me.
• Yeah, you get it.
• You could be my successor.
• The next Baghead.
• Whaddya say?
• Yeah, nah… nevermind.
• That’ll never work.
• I mean look at you.
• Listen up.
• You lot don’t need me.
• Not anymore.
• You see… sittin’ and doin’ nothin’ ain’t enough these days.
• It’s gotten old—you know?
• I need somethin’ more.
• So, I’m passin’ on me ol’ sack…
• To my finest pupil.
• Someone who really knows nothin’.
• As for me…
• Oh, you’ll never see me again.
• I’ll be just another face in the crowd.

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